Mobile Battle: Final Fantasy VII Episode 1
by Lethall
Summary: Final Fantasy VII, only not what your think of, I incorporated a G-Gundam outline into my fic!! So read, and enjoy the stupidity!!
1. Default Chapter

Final Fantasy VII: Mobile Battle  
  
President Shinra sits upon stool, while a light from above shine's upon him. He clears his throat, then speaks  
  
President Shinra: Good day!! You might remember me from my evil, yet small role in Final Fantasy VII. I've gone up since then, and come to bring you what a die hard fan would call..A sad redo of the original game!! But despite that, this fan fiction incorporates a slight variation of the game with mecha added for additional story. Yes I know, not what you expected eh? Well, while Macross fans found this series, oh, less than reputable, we're happy to say Voltron fans were very pleased with the outcome!! So with ou...  
  
Cloud steps in  
  
Cloud: Excuse me. Do you know the man in this picture is?! *Holds out picture of man with black, long, spiked hair, wearing purple outfit*  
  
President Shinra takes picture and looks it over  
  
President Shinra: Well, to be honest..no, it hurts my head. I can't remember all the names of this game's cast, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was a member of SOLDIER. Yes, well, even if I did know, telling you, the viewer, would completely ruin the storyline of this fan fiction. So, without further or do, Rips off jacket and glasses Gundam fight all set!! Ready.go!!!!  
Sector 5 Slums: Midgar  
  
Cloud walks into town followed by Mog, the two stand on the entryway to Sector 5 as they peer at the devastated structures and the inhabitants still scouring the ruin.  
  
Cloud: Is this the place?  
  
Mog: Yes, Kupo!!! According to the report, Sector 5 might have what we're looking for.  
  
Cloud: Nods Hmmm..well then, I suppose we should stop here for a while.  
  
Mog: Your going to rest a while Kupo? Or perhaps your just going to find information when you know you should come on as inconspicuous Kupo!  
  
Cloud walks off and stops, looking back at Mog  
  
Cloud: That's none of your business. I'll do this my way. Walks off  
  
Mog: Well, I suppose he's ok by himself Kupo!! Walks off in opposite direction Cloud walks a few meters to nearby bar and walks in. Inside are the normal Slum Scum and several gang members. The bartender mans his counter as the occupants become unruly. Cloud walks up to the counter, carefully eying the bar as beer bottles are thrown, and laughs and curses are mentioned. Cloud sits on a stool near the counter. The bartender notices Cloud, and walks toward him.  
  
Bartender: New face I see. What can I get for you?  
  
Cloud: Looks around bar, then turns to the bartender Hmm, sad sight, wouldn't you say?  
  
Bartender: It makes money. Ever since that blasted Gundam fight, it has been a living a hell out here in the slums.  
  
Cloud: Begins to pull photograph from his pocket And no doubt a perfect for the scum we see her. Holds out photo Do you recognize this man?  
  
Before the bartender answers, the scene is shifted to a rather corpulent man and two of his sidekicks, who overhear Cloud's remark. They make their way toward him, pushing over numerous gang bystanders along the way.  
  
Bartender: Nope, can't say that I do, but uh...AHHHH!! Sorry gotta go!! Ducks behind the counter in fear and crawls away.  
  
Don Corneo: Hold it!! Cloud swivels towards Corneo and pals, looking seriously at them Serve me a drink bartender. In fact, a double make it, for our newfound friend here. Motions toward Cloud  
  
Cloud: Looks at Corneo and grins slightly No thanks bartender. I don't drink with drag queens. I'm straight.  
  
Corneo: Becomes angry Drag queen you say? Why I'm all wo-..I mean I'm all for the women my friend. Gives evil smirk And might I also say that that comment is going to get you a whoopin. HO HO HO!!  
  
Cloud: Grins more That laugh sounds like Santa Claus, hell, with garbs like that you resemble Santa Claus...on coming-out day I mean.  
  
Scotch: Pounds fists together You want us to teach him boss?  
  
Corneo: Grins evil grin Well, my boys are a bit blood thirsty, why not? Corneo begins to walk off, but stops momentarily, glimpsing back And remember boys. He isn't a honey, so don't be as gentle as you normally would. Walks off  
  
Cloud: looks at Scotch and Kotch as people start leaving the bar in fear Gentle?! I'm not even gonna ask.why do you hang out with a loser like that guy anyway?  
  
Kotch: Grows Angry Loser?! How disrespectful!! The Don is a romantic!! He provides us with the honeys!!!  
  
Scotch: Pounds fists again And he allows us to beat on punks like you!!! Throws punch  
  
Cloud: Grabs hand, and begins twist Scotch's wrist as Scotch cringes in pain Hmm, yea, I see what your saying, but kinda sad that he doesn't ever train you for times like these, dontcha think? Grin  
  
Kotch: Looks at Scotch in pain and becomes aggravated Your gonna get it now punk!! Draws small knife Prepare for some manual blood work!! Got anything to say before I kill you?! Swings Knife  
  
Cloud: Pulls out Buster sword and slashes Kotch's knife in two, then points sword at the pair letting go of Scotch Yes. Retracts and sheaths Buster sword and walks in between the two, stopping momentarily Train a little, you two couldn't take out a two-year old. Exits Bar  
Cloud walks a bit as he sees Corneo off in the distance looking the opposite way, and meeting prostitutes and feeding them chocolate covered cherries  
Corneo: HO HO!! That's right hunnies!!! There's plenty of me to go around!!! HO HO!! Yes my little Cutesies!!! HO HO!!  
Cloud: Stops a few from Corneo, and folds his arms Weren't you going to kill the Santa act? Corneo turns, blocking the women with his arms as he faces Cloud with fear in his eyes Your flunkies aren't good body guards, and seems you are quite the celebrity with the ladies.  
Corneo: Scared Oh, uh..it's you?! Scotch? Kotch? Help me out here guys HO HO..Looks around for henchmen  
Cloud: Draws Buster sword Let's settle this. I haven't time for you, but your in my way to finding information.  
Corneo: Girls run off screaming in high pitches Ummm.ahhhh.errr.Straightens face and stands tall Ok then.very well, but one question for you. Why would high fidelity like me stoop to this low and cower before you, then stand tall and relinquish his dignity?  
Because he's a good loser  
  
Because he has one last trick up his sleeve  
  
Because he's humbled by another fighter  
  
Cloud: Face hardens Damn, I knew there was a catch to you!! A Gundam fighter!  
  
Corneo: Dances excitedly All correct!!! Now, prepare to die!! HO HO!! Honey Bee Gundam, Rise!!!  
  
A huge Gundam comes up from the ground as Corneo gets inside, and into the Mobile Trace Cockpit. The Gundam is colored Neon Pink and Blood Red with some bulk, wielding a huge blade shaped like a Mohawk on a stick.  
  
Corneo: from inside Gundam HO HO!! Now who's beating who? I'll make a squashed tomato out of you!! HO HO!!  
  
(Hey kids!! An ATE from FFIX!!)  
  
Mog walks the slum alone, but stops as his fur cringes  
  
Mog: Uh oh Kupo!! Cloud needs assistance Kupo!! Slitzskin where are you!? Runs rampantly towards Cloud's position, and ducks behind rubble as he reaches the fight scene. A Gundam Kupo?! Well, the boys said it would work, so I'll hafta trust em'!! Go get 'em Cloud!!  
  
Cloud: Steps back as Honey Bee Gundam advances So, I see your in the Gundam fight!! Well then, this will be a formidable warm-up!! Raises Buster sword Rise Buster Gundam!!!!  
  
A huge Dark Purple, Black, and Yellow Gundam rises. The Gundam is quite slim, and wields a huge Buster sword on its' back. Cloud locks into the Mobile trace system, and performs numerous punches, kicks, and sword techniques as the Gundam performs the same movements.  
  
Corneo: Laughs HO HO!! So, a Gundam fighter as well eh? Shoulda known, HO HO!! But you won't be in the tournament long enough for me to get to know you!!  
  
Cloud: Lets get down to it then!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The Gundams Charge at each other, weapons drawn. The machines clash in a deadlock, Honey Bee Gundam backs off and fires off its vulcans. Buster Gundam boosts nimbly away, avoiding most of the shots, and blocking the rest with the Buster sword. The two fly at each other again, and clash in mid air, with their blades.  
  
Mog: Crouching under rubble Wow, Buster Gundam is suited for Cloud Kupo!!! Ooooh, but all this destruction hurts my head Kupo!!!  
  
The two Gundams remain deadlocked in the air  
  
Corneo: HO HO!! I love stand-offs!!! Then I can do this!!  
  
Honey Bee Gundam attempts to jab Buster Gundam with its knee, but Buster Gundam boosts up, and with the butt of the buster sword, jabs Honey Bee Gundam into the ground, and follows it down.  
  
Corneo: Scared No, impossible!!! How could you.see that.ahhh!! I'm gonna be squashed!!  
  
Cloud: Grows Serious Damn right!! Buster Gundam readys the Buster sword as it glows brightly This sword of mine glows with a great power!! It's aura tells me to defeat you!! MAKO SLASH!!!  
  
Buster Gundam charges forward, jamming the buster sword into Honey Bee Gundam's head  
  
Cloud: Eyes glowing a blinding blue lightLet me refresh your memory!! If a Gundam loses its' head, it is disqualified from the Gundam fight!!  
  
Corneo: Goes insane as Honey Bee Gundams' cockpit goes berserk What's going on!? HO HO Hooo My God!!! Are those..M-M-MAKO EYES?! This can't be!! Call truce!! Call truce!!  
Cloud: Takes out photograph, and holds it to the camera One last thing!! Do you know this man here?!  
Corneo: Scared and going insane Dah Dah ..Daive NEVER SEEN THAT MAN BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!  
Cloud: Pathetic, and by the way, you were right.  
Corneo: I was? Looking not so scared anymore  
Cloud: Grins I won't see you again in the Gundam fight!! Buster Gundam runs the buster sword all the way through Honey Bee Gundams head, which explodes in mere seconds  
Buster Gundam twirls the sword and resheaths the buster sword, and stands tall  
Later on  
Cloud and Mog stand together, about to leave as they talk with the bartender, and other innocent bystanders  
  
Cloud: Sorry for messin your town up even more  
  
Bartender: Smiles What you sorry for? You helped a lot!! It was because those guys had a Gundam that was the problem!! We thank you!!  
  
Mog: Walks up to Cloud No one can give a positive on the photo Cloud.  
  
Batender: Faces Cloud Sorry, that guy hasn't been around here as far as we know. But, I do hope ya find him. And here's something that should help you.  
  
(RECEIVED TENT) (I had to add that in!!)  
  
Bartender: Have a safe journey!!  
  
Cloud: You be careful here as well. Thanks for your help. Take care now. Walks off  
  
Mog: Bye Bye Kupo!! Walks behind Cloud, trying to keep up You did awesome Kupo!!  
  
Cloud: Keeps walking Yea Yea.lets go. (And at least I didn't have to dress up as a girl this time)  
  
President Shinra: In silent voice to readers (Hehe, that's what he thinks..tee hee, this is only the first episode, ha ha ha ha.!!)  
The two walk off into Midgar, looking for the next stop  
  
End of Episode One 


	2. Mobile Battle: Final Fantasy VII Episode...

Final Fantasy VII: Mobile Battle  
  
Once again, President Shinra resides on a stool with light from above shining, in a relaxed pose.  
  
President Shinra: Well, hello again everyone, and glad to have you in another round of Final Fantasy VII.  
  
Cloud steps in, with photo.  
  
Cloud: Do you know the man in this picture?!  
  
President Shinra: Grabs photograph and scratches his head That's the second time you've done that!! It's getting annoying!! And, yet again..I do not know who this man is, but I bet it has something to do with our story today. Today we are in the Sector Seven Slums, where Tifa and her Slut Gundam reside. So.Rips off coat and glasses Gundam fight all set!! Ready.Go!!!  
Hot Tips for the Bartender: Rise of the Slut Gundam  
  
Cloud and Mog make there way into Sector Seven. Shinra troops reside all over the place. Cloud and Mog further enter the slum.  
  
Mog: Well then, that's my workout!! Phew!! Rubs head  
  
Cloud: Pulls back red sash Don't be restin on me yet!! We have work to do!!  
  
Mog: Glares at Cloud Geez, your all work and no rest Kupo!! Give things a break!!  
  
Cloud: Looks ahead I never asked for you to join me!!  
  
Mog: Yeah, well you'd be up a creek if I weren't here!!  
  
Cloud: Looks down at Mog Oh really? Well, then in that in that case, prove your worth to me! What's in Sector Seven?  
  
Mog: Pulls tiny calculator device from his satchel Hmmm, well if this is right, the Slut Gundam is here.  
  
Cloud: Puts hand over forehead Not another one of these episodes. Is this going to be a pattern for the rest of this demented redo?  
  
Mog: Shakes head No No Kupo!! This area is fine, at least it should be. Tifa is a freedom fighter, but.she definitely looks like a candidate for the local HOOTERS Kupo. Cloud: Starts thinking Well then, lets get going. God, these slums have the biggest hicks.  
  
Mog: Giggles You don't look too straight yourself with purple garbs on Kupo!  
  
Cloud quickly draws the buster sword and holds it at Mog's neck  
  
Cloud: Smirking Umm.repeat please?  
  
Mog: Swallows hard Fine!! Smiles and gives thumbs up You're a'OK in my book Cloud!! Lets go!!  
  
Cloud re-sheaths his buster sword the two walk into the slum, and after a while, enter Tifa's Seventh Heaven. The two take a seat at the bar stools and wait to be served by none other than Tifa herself  
  
Tifa: Walks slutily up to the newcomers and leans on the counter, coming on to Cloud Hey boys!! What'll it be?  
  
Mog: Looks up from calculator device Oh!! Regen please Kupo!!  
  
Tifa: Smiling At Cloud And you big boy?  
  
Cloud: Crosses arms Gimme something hard.  
  
Tifa: Stand tall, staring at the two and smiling Ooooh, a big drink.for a big man!! Alrighty, comin right up boys!! Slutily walks away, and goes to prepare the drinks  
  
Cloud: Eyes following Tifa (So she's the Slut Gundam's pilot.not that I'd argue.I mean look at that bust, those thighs, that sexy walk.mmmm)  
  
Mog: Bonks Cloud with satchel Head outta the Cloud's.no pun intended Kupo!  
  
Cloud: Defensivly turns at Mog I-I- I wasn't.I mean, .I was studying my opponent!!  
  
Mog: Returns to device Sure you were Kupo. Just don't mistake your Dick for your head in the process Kupo. Again, no pun intended Kupo.  
  
At Shinra relay station in Sector Seven  
  
Shinra soldier: On phone Yes sir!! I think we've located the revolutionaries!!  
  
Heideggar: Gya ha ha!! So, sector seven eh? Shoulda expected them to hide in the most quiet Sector!! Gya ha ha!!  
  
Shinra soldier: Yes sir!! Your orders sir?  
  
Heideggar: Rock that sector the likes that it has never seen!! Gya ha ha ha  
  
Shinra soldier: Hears voice as he hangs up the phone "Will you stop that incessant horse laugh!!!" Alright men, listen up!! Four Shinra soldiers line up in attention stance Our orders are to seek out the rebels in sector seven!! Afterwars, if we can draw out the rebels Gundam, we'll destroy it!! Is that clear?  
  
Soldiers: YES SIR!!  
  
Shinra soldier: Right then!! Ready all mobile suits!! Prepare for combat!!  
  
Back at the bar, Tifa is delivering the drinks to Cloud and Mog. She walks up to the two, smiling still, as Cloud stares unnoticeanly at Tifa, and Mog keeps at his device.  
  
Tifa: Sets down drinks Here ya go!! Drink up boys!! Glares in Cloud's eyes as he drinks and smiles Mmmm, those beautiful eyes.tee hee!!  
  
Cloud: Glaring into Tifa's eyes What about em?  
  
Tifa: Giggles Can't I admire them? You don't have to be so tense, even if you are a Gundam Fighter.  
  
Cloud: Looks up stunned, along with Mog You knew?!  
  
Tifa: Giggles Well of coarse, you knew about me. I think it's pretty fair!!  
  
Cloud: Grins Well then. How bout it, fight me?  
  
Tifa: Giggles No, of coarse not. I only fight contenders, not pretty boys along for the ride!  
  
Cloud: Face cringes Pretty boy eh? You should talk, your probably a show off in your own right, and I mean hey, you do it even when you don't try.  
  
Tifa: Face gets serious as she rubs Cloud's chin Little, little boy. You'd be so downhearted if you were to face a fighter like me.  
  
Cloud: Drinks a swallow of his beer Whatever. You probably don't have what I'm looking for anyway.  
  
Tifa: Looks curiously Oooh, and what migh that beeee...  
  
Bar shakes. People grasp the ground as it shakes violently. Explosions can be heard as Cloud and Mog get under the table.  
  
Mog: Covers ears What the.?! Not again Kupo!!  
  
Cloud: Peers through bars opening, catching view of two giant feet Mobile Suits?! Cloud gets up and starts running outside as he views five Shinra patrol suits Shinra?! Well, I was looking to fight someone, I guess these guys would do!! But why the hell are they here?!  
  
Mog: Looks as Cloud runs off Cloud!! Wait Cloud!! Oh go on!! Typical of you Cloud!! Looks around for Tifa Hey, where'd she go Kupo?! Hard-headed losers all!!  
  
Outside the bar, Shinra mobile suits wreak havoc among sector seven, killing and injuring many. Cloud kicks one shinra soldier, and slashes at another as he looks up at the carnage.  
  
Cloud: Angry Jesus!! Dammit, what the hell are they after?!  
  
Shinra leader: Inside Mobile suit People of sector seven. We have reason to believe a group of resistance members is taking refuge here. Resistance members, turn yourselves in, or the town gets wasted!! Make the right decision!!  
  
A Shinra Mobile suit begins shooting at Cloud. Cloud jumps and dodges the huge explosions. Just then, a Gundam colored white, drown and black comes from the shadows, and jump-kicks a nearby Shinra Monbile suit, immobilizing it. The Gundam has a feminine attribute, and huge bust.  
  
Tifa: In Slut Gundam Shinra soldiers, surrender now!! Stop your attack!! There are no resistance members here!!  
  
Shinra soldier: In Mobile suit T-The resistances Gundam?!  
  
Shinra soldier: In mobile suit Who cares, just fire!!  
  
The two suits fire their machine guns at the Slut Gundam, but Tifa's moves are fast as she comes up, and pounds the first Mobile suit with Slut Gundam fists. And just as quickly, she flip-kicks the other Mobile suit, bisecting it. Tifa then turns to another Shinra mobile suit, which is preparing to attack. Slut Gundams bust opens partially up, revealing two gatling guns in each breast.  
  
Shinra soldier: In ecstasy Ohhhhh, wow!!  
  
Tifa: Smirking Fantasize this!! Slut Gundam opens fire, wasting the Shinra mobile suit, as it falls to the ground. Bystanders run and scream from the battle zone.  
  
Slut Gundam runs up to the last Shinra mobile suit, and slugs it in the gut, punching right through it. As the soldier inside briefly screams, Slut Gundam removes it's fist, stands tall, and looks down at Cloud.  
  
Tifa: Ready to fight Well, you seem worthy, and since I'm ready anyway, lets go!! Slut Gundam gets in battle stance  
  
Cloud: Smiles upward at the Gundam and nods. Cloud raises his Buster sword. Buster Gundam rise!! Cloud's Gundam appears as Cloud gets into the Mobile Trace system, and once again practices techniques with the Gundam, the two mechs then face each other. Gundam fight!! Ready.Go!!!  
  
Buster Gundam runs at Slut Gundam, blade extended as it swings. Slut Gundam blocks the huge blade with her hands.  
  
Tifa: Smirking Not bad, but I'm winning this fight!!  
  
Slut Gundam performs a twist-kick at Buster Gundam's head, But Cloud uses Buster Gundam's boosters as Buster Gundam flys upwards, the Slut Gundam's feet hit the chestplate, sending the Gundam pummeling to the ground creating a huge skid mark.  
  
Cloud: In pain Dammit!! Don't think you;ve won yet!! Buster Gundam gets up, and back into stance Lets do it!!  
  
Tifa: Smiles I've won already boy!! Slut Gundam fires the breast-emplaced vulcans Haha!! Lead implants are so much better than silicon!!  
  
Cloud: Buster Gundam uses boosters to slide across the area, as the missed shots hit the ground. Cloud also blocks with the Buster Sword. Ha!! Machine gun breasts huh? How original..!  
  
Mog: Watching on the ground, a tad worried as he plugs away at his device Gee, I hope the repair job isn't gonna be too big!! Clou, that's a Gundam, not a toy Kupo!!  
  
Buster Gundam fires its' head emplaced vulcans at Slut Gundam, which dodges the shots nimbly.  
  
Cloud: Confidently Those jugs are nice, but need a little trim job!! Buster Gundam swerves, and flys in, Buster Sword drawn, as it slices the gun barrels off Slut Gundam's breast vulcans  
  
Tifa: Stunned Never seen that one before, but I bet your not ready for this!! Slut Gundam jumps in the air, and prepares to strike SEVENTH HEAVEN SMASH!!  
  
Cloud: Astonished, but not defeated. Eyes Glowing brightly Not yet babe!! Buster Gundam slides under Slut Gundam, and high-kicks it. Slut Gundam goes flying, skidding into several housing areas before stopping.  
  
Buster Gundam, stands tall as it faces Slut Gundam, which struggles, but successfully rises and faces Buster Gundam.  
  
Cloud: Out of breath Got anymore?  
  
Tifa: Out of breath You don't, so why should I?!  
  
Cloud: Relaxes and momentarily closes eyes I gotta find out how you do that.  
  
Mog: Through the comlink Cloud, you gonna finish her Kupo?  
  
Cloud: Smiling This time..it's a draw!!  
  
Later on  
  
Cloud, Mog, and Tifa stand outside the remains of the Seventh Heaven Bar, and discuss matters.  
  
Cloud: Collected This place will take a lot of cleaning up.  
  
Mog: At his device The bill alone is 15,000,000,000,000 Gil Kupo.  
  
Tifa: Smiles while running her hand through her hair Yea, I suppose, but It'll be a job well worth it!! Sorry that I don't recognize the guy in the photo.  
  
Cloud: Smiles lightly Thanks anyway. Good luck on fixing this place. Sorry that we couldn't have stopped the Shinra sooner. I never knew you were a rebel.  
  
Tifa: Neither did I, whoever they are looking for, that rebel group is definitely in the slums. And don't be sorry. At least the damage was minor here. The Shinra devastate towns, so this one was relatively saved, thanks to you. I wish you well on your quest. Smiles, stands sexy, and points at Cloud And don't think I won't be a pain in your ass the next time we meet!! I'll be in training!!  
  
Cloud: Begins to walk off with Mog, and grins I look forward to it!! See you in the finals, hopefully.  
  
Tifa smiles as Cloud and Mog walk off  
  
Mog: Grins deviously You liked her.  
  
Cloud: Irritated She was an opponent interest, nothing more.  
  
Mog: Grins wider You got the hots for her Kupo!!  
  
Cloud: Angry Shut up!!  
  
The two continue arguing as they head off towards their next goal, and battle.  
  
End of EPISODE II 


End file.
